Went for a long walk in the rain last night. Whenever I've needed to clear my head of distractions, or put things into perspective, I've gone for a walk in the rain. First, there are very few people out, second those that are, tend to be moving very fast. In a warped way it's like moving in slow motion. If one is prepared with the proper gear, one can do it without risking of getting cold and wet. I spent most of yesterday in the rain. The first part of the day standing motionless, the second part walking around the namesake of this online journal.
November 12, traditionally has been a day of taking stock for me. I go through a lot of emotions on November 11, and November 12, they suddenly all shut down, and I'm left with the lingering effects of those emotions. So I usually wake up on this day, and go through a checklist of things I have to do, or take care of.
This year is no different. I've spent the past few months, as you know dear readers, shedding myself of certain friends, who have not truly been friends. That's a process that will continue. I've also got to start bringing back some people I may have inadvertantly pushed away with my honesty. Sometimes, too much honesty may be a bad thing. I have an ability to compartmentalize things in my life, and I don't realize that not everyone has that ability.
Came across some recordings the other day of some soldiers who fought in the battle Khe Sanh. It's always tough to listen to these recordings, most histories that I read are recorded by professionals who sanitize and look at the big picture. Isolating an historic event into it's individual experiences turns a grand event into in an small personal tragedy or victory.
I remember reading a book years ago about a man during world war II of Japanese ancestry who served with an American unit in Italy. This man had to put up with constant abuse and insults from his fellow soldiers. At one point, during an offensive he was preparing to throw a grenade, when a piece of shrapnel severed the arm with which he was holding the grenade. To save his fellow soldiers in the 1 or 2 seconds he had to spare, with his remaining arm, he picked up the severed arm holding the grenade with the pin removed and threw that piece of himself at the enemy. These are the stories that make up war. A historian describing that battle, would probably not mention that story. It would be a strategic study of troop movements, with a chart beside a map listing casualties.
Lou Reed's spinning on the music box this morning, I've always loved Lou, the epitome of cool. The renegade poet appeals to this tortured soul.
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