A week of taking stock it would appear is in order. Thinking about a lot of things, a lot of people.

A weird moment this past weekend, an old acquaintance's birthday popped up on my Facebook "reminder" list. Went to her page to post a birthday message to someone to be honest with you I hadn't really made a tremendous effort to stay in touch with.

Going through the old posts on her page, there was a recurring them "miss you so much" "can't believe you're gone" etc. I then realized, my friend had died a year ago, and I had no idea.

She was a young woman, only 33 when she died, I don't know the circumstances, and that's not really relevant.

I've had a tumultous week.

The week was supposed to start with a concert I've been looking forward to for about 3 months now. The Blind Boys of Alabama and Ruthie Foster. However, my companion for this concert bailed out on me with less than an hour to spare. Needless to say, not wanting to go to a concert myself I didn't go. In and of itself, that's okay, things happen I can accept that. However, this is the second time the same person has bailed out on me at a concert at the last minute. I'm not struggling for money by any circumstances, and given the current economic climate, I count my blessings every day that I'm not wanting for anything. But $300 is a lot of money to spend sitting at home watching television.

This same person seems to get stressed out because of a perceived pressure I've put on her. I don't think I've done this, but apparently I have. In emotions, the perception is the reality, there are no clearly defined behaviours when it comes to emotional tumult. It's sad for me, this is a person I admire, and I truly do like. However I'm being made to feel that my presence is an inconvenience. That's not something I want to be.

I'm keeping the door open to friendship, which is really all I ever wanted in the first place.