Been haunted by strange dreams about my own health the past few days. I think these are just manifestations of my own self doubt, my own need for someone to pay attention to my concerns.

Of course, my own circle of friends has had it's own medical problems, two strokes, brushes with cancer, and most recently a miscarriage.

The dream last night was so profound it woke me up, heart pounding. I'll move on.

Love sucks don't it?

Trying to do the good thing, I really am.

Recently every time I see someone's name or photo, it's like getting kicked in the stomach. Am I the immature one? I don't want to feel this way.

I have a whole bunch of problems with what's been happening politically in Ottawa the past week.

First, none of the political parties, with the exception of the Bloc Quebecois have been honest about their intentions or motivations.

Let's start with the conservatives. When you're elected with a minority government, you're expected to govern with a spirit of compromise. Governing with an iron fist and pushing through legislation that you know is going to antagonize the opposition is a recipe for chaos. Harper is a smart man, you can't tell me he didn't have a single inkling that this was going to happen.

The Liberals and the NDP, they blew it, plain and simple. What should have happened, a no confidence vote should have been put before the house, and THEN the coalition should have been negotiated. Putting the cart before the house, in addition to being a very old metaphor is an apt way of describing this.

Both sides are running to and fro proclaiming their championing of democracy. It's hypocritical on all sides. The conservatives can't be champions of democracy AND deny members an opportunity to vote. It's failed logic, "we're saving the process by shutting it down". The Liberals and NDP are not champions either, strutting and preening like peacocks, being dishonest about terms of this coalition and blushing in a pollyana way that they merely want to save the Canadian people.

For the next two months, we're going to have huffing and puffing on the magic boxes until the inevitable vote comes down on the 26th or 27th. I would put dollars to donuts that the budget that does come down will have tax cuts galore, the government will fall, the tories will campaign on this promise of tax cuts, and win a majority, because the Liberals will have a dearth of leadership. I have an old saw about the tories, they think we're all whores, they're just trying to figure out our price.