tension

My body has been incredibly tense the past few days. My fingers are rigid and my neck and shoulders have more knots than a sailor training camp.

Perhaps it's a lack of sleep, perhaps it's yet another symptom of the emotional malaise I've now felt for 6 weeks. Spent some time earlier this week who does suffer from clinical depression, and what I'm feeling doesn't even come close to what she suffers. So when I talk of depression, I mean absolutely no offence to people who do suffer from it, or mean to make light of people who do legitimately suffer from a true illness.

For me, this malaise is caused by my surroundings and circumstances, and I know that changing a few things is my life will cause this to end. But to be honest I'm in a chicken/egg conundrum, I'm too sad to get motivated, but motivation will end my sadness.

Going to spend some time in the studio, a piece of music I've been working on for ages, since whistler, I think is ready. Using the nifty piece of software to synthesize what it will sound like I've got I think I've got something that I can listen to. Whether or not anyone else actually listens to it is another matter. Even though it's an instrumental, it's a remarkably personal piece of music, and anyone listening to it will, I feel be entering a piece of my soul. Although, I doubt if anyone did listen to it they would feel that, the reaction would be more like "what the hell is that?"

This will be the second thing I've ever composed and played by myself. The first piece was ages ago, a combination spanish guitar / japanese percussion thing I did years ago during my "world" music phase in the early mid nineties.

This piece certainly has a lot of "world" music influences. I hate the term "world" music by the way, why does only western music not deserve a modifier.

The last 10 minutes of this piece, I don't know what to call it, it's an instrumental for cryin' out loud, is about a friend I've written about here, and I'm not sure if this person has ever had music written about her, but there it is.

How about "blue" perhaps one of the most overused titles in music. It certainly describes the mood, yet skirts the line to a genre of music, as some it is more jazz than blues. I've never worked with synthesizers or electric pianos before so this should be an interesting experience.