existential angst

In life we don’t get what we want, we get in life what we are. If we want more we have to be able to be more, in order to be more you have to face rejection.
Farrah Gray


There's an incredible amount of emphasis placed on the "first impression". Be it a date, a job interview, or the presentation of products to be sold. It's that first impression that makes or breaks a decision.

yet how many of us convey our true selves on that first impression, I know your faithful correspondent does not. He's an awkward soul, having been burned in the past, he's reluctant to give too much of himself away. Do I hold people to account for this rejection of the first impression, not at all, to be honest with you it's perfectly understandable.

Your correspondent prides himself on being unreadable, it's what makes me inured to pain. Rejection is not of me, but of the facade. Persons unwilling or unable to see past the facade are probably not patient enough to deal with what comes with the whole package. That's fair, I hold no-one to account, to some, relationships need to be transparent, not studies in existentialism.

Now most people will say, that nobody truly understands, perhaps they are right, tens of thousands of years of emotional evolution have truly made the human soul a complicated maze. Some emotions are readily available to the world, others are much more complicated and need to be hidden.

Ultimately all these emotions will create the colourful tapestry that is an individual, but like any tapestry with some people the intricacies and the subtleties are sometimes not noticeable at first glance, they require a different light, or perhaps a different frame of mind.

Have you ever glanced at a painting that you saw as a child, then revisited years later and noticed things that were not apparent to you when you first looked at it as a youth.